My advice was to continue what he's been doing, but do it more quietly. When interacting with the boss - and especially when socializing - do it as privately as possible. Don't joke with her in front of co-workers, try not to have lengthy meetings with her during regular business hours and don't ever let co-workers know you're families socialize together. In other words, try to keep the relationship "strictly business" in front of others in the office.

Then I suggested he consider some other career advancing techniques, which would be invisible to co-workers, but which both his boss and top management would see and appreciate.

• Volunteer. At night or early in the morning - when only you and your supervisor are in the office - ask if there's anything you can do to help her. Also ask, " how can I make a larger contribution?" It's contributions that make successful careers, at least in the long run. Never be just a " warm body." It's the pro-active people who are promoted, and then promoted again.
• Figure out what's needed. Use some intuition, as well as objectivity. Are most promotions based on creativity or detail ability, sales or production/operations experience, computer or interpersonal skills? Work on the needed skills or behavior and stay aware of your progress, as well as any change in what's needed in the organization.
• Show initiative. Make suggestions, or develop new ideas. Of course, these have to be well thought-out and grounded in reality, not just "pie-in-the-sky." And, offer to take charge of the suggestion or idea to make it work. Initiative like this says you deserve a promotion.
• Create "visi-posure" - visible exposure - for yourself. Become known as an expert in a particular job, function, or industry by writing articles on it and/or speaking about it at local events or meetings. Obviously, this must be a subject about which you know something substantial, but if you do, make the world aware of your knowledge! Then, let the boss - and the boss' boss - know of your articles and/or speaking engagements. Also, consider writing an article for the organization or association newsletter. You know, top management always reads this with interest, to see if it's worth the investment!
• Get more schooling. Stay at the cutting-edge of what you do. Whether you're in accounting, administration, information systems, legal, operations/production, marketing/sales, or some other function, you must be the best you can be. And, that means going back for re-training frequently. Then, let your supervisor know how this schooling can help the organization. If you make this case effectively, the organization may even pay for the schooling!
• Remember your accomplishments, because nobody else will. These are particularly important as they effect the bottom line. Have you increased revenues, decreased costs, created a new system that reduced staff and maintained productivity, played a key role in a project that accomplished something? Then, at the right time, remind the boss of your successes.

Now, all this may sound like "playing politics - without integrity." However, integrity is satisfied as long as you can say, "NO!" to the following question: "Will I regret this action if it doesn't pay off?" When using this benchmark, your career advancement motives will be both credible and honorable, regardless of what co-workers say or think. Politics? I don't think so. This is just good business.